


Disenchanted

by davenravia



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Real World, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 12:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17939723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davenravia/pseuds/davenravia
Summary: Erza is a big fan of the band she adored the most, especially the lead singer. What happened if she accidentally meet him for real?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Self-harm

Monday morning,everyone's "favourite". Erza grunted,turning the opposite side of the bed where sun don't spread its sunlight,hoping the light don't bother her sleeping. Well,the hope lost its bet. It did bother her. She hissed at the sun,moved her body from the bed. If she was a vampire,probably could turn into dust now. Oh she would like to be one of them,being a nocturnal and active at night.

It was 6:57 a.m. Erza have two hours to prepare herself before dragging her lazy ass to her workplace. She really hate herself for this,working but since she is 26-years-old adult,that can't be a life system excuse. She need a job to survive because she lived alone. Alone indeed.

Erza remembered on how she "loved" Irene,her so-called mother,"encourage" her to live by her own. The meaning behind this "encourage",Erza got herself kicked out from their house. That was after she spend the day out with Lucy and Juvia. She sighed,looking how she had a ruined parents,her father left Irene to raised her alone,Irene's family don't want her even. Irene? A single mother who swore she won't drinking anymore for Erza sake,back on her old habit,possibly trying to forget that she had a daughter? Thought so. Irene was a total drunk mess when she kicked her own daughter out from her house.

What a jerk,Erza thought. She stayed in the hotel nearby for a night after the kick out. Glad she have the money she saved since her junior high and her salary from previous job. She is mad,really mad. Indeed she is pissed off yet her rationality is still there. Screw her father and mother for that,she kicked the drawer beside the bed,just to release the anger little bit.

In this kind of mad,God,who knows what this redhead would do on herself?

●●●●●●●●●

It was 7:30 a.m. Erza walked out from her house,for work. She lived in a quite nice suburb neighbourhood unlike her previous one with Irene. Her mother was full on debt,felt worried and also love,Erza started to work after her college graduate. Hate her mother for not paying the rent on time and spend it out on booze. She resigned herself the night she kicked out. She got herself a plan.

First thing to do in this "glorious Monday morning" is having a breakfast. Everyone need breakfast before going to work. She still got her time well. She never thought that she will have a permanent job with pretty decent salary,a place to live and food? If it wasn't for her degree,she would live on the street,as a hobo. Thanks to the saved money,she wouldn't survived two months without a job nefore she could find one and now she have it.

The most odd is,how fast she is on paying rent. She only lived that house for almost two months and the pay is almost full!

Guess she keep her money that much. She is a money-saver.

" I CHIMED IN HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF,CLOSING GODDAMN DOOR NO-"

Her Panic! At The Disco ringtone played out of nowhere. It was embarassing,really since she is in the public place but at the same time,proud of it. It's Lucy Heartfilia calling to her phone. Oof.

She staring at the phone screen,the contact number. Her thumb dancing,either ignore or pick the call. Lucy is her friend,her colleague since sophomore. She want to ignore it and hang up but her sense of humanity is there,feel bad,she answered the call. Stupid.

"Hello?"

"Erza? Thank God you answered! I thought you were dead!"said Lucy. You can hear Lucy's worried tone that telling she is worried sick about Erza went missing out of the blue,without telling anything. How could she do this,Lucy thought. Erza's missing scared Lucy to the death. "Yes,I am dead but inside,"replied Erza with her dark joke. "Haha,funny,"said Lucy,sarcastically.

"Where have you been?" Lucy asked.

"Working,"Erza replied.

"Where?"the blonde asked more.

"I said working,"said Erza,rolling her eyes. She knew that she is avoiding Lucy's question. She wanted it to end.

"I knew you were working,but where?" Lucy asked again. Annoyed,Erza replied,"Somewhere on the north,"she hung up the call instantly,leaving her friend a hint where she work at. Lucy is smart. She would find out that later. How stupid she was,answering the call.

She don't want her current life to be known by her friends anymore. Not that she hate them,just enough with her personal information like her parents' divorce being shared in public at the counselling session. She doesn't want attention and not an attention seeker neither. Not her thing to share her sad life to the world. No. Just get up and fix that sad life of yours instead of crying at the bathroom,thinking about your ruined parents and such.

Without knowing,Erza already arrived at her work,with Dunkin' Donuts box and a coffee cup in her hands. It is an amazing fact on how Erza managed to do things while she is in her thoughts. "Hey,Erza!"said a brunette called Millianna,half-shouting from distance. "You're so early this morning!" Erza blinkedher eyes in disbelief. "Huh? Where's the others?"Erza asked,turning her heads on both sides.

"You know,Erza,they always late,"Millianna replied. Erza is the one who always come up late to work. Is God hiding some agenda today? Probably and what would it be? Erza have to find out later. Her daily were never this good. "Erza,I need you to help me with something,"said Millianna,gesturing both of them to her desk. They were partners in work but only recently the latest client wanted Millianna to do the job due to the client's phistranthophobia a.k.a trust issues. So,Erza is temporarily an advisor to Millianna if she needs her help.

It was nice to meet new friends and how proud she was,surpassing her social anxiety. She would freak out if she is in a new place or friends. This time,it stopped.

●●●●●●●●●

Erza is not a secretive person,not really until she's in high school,she closed the door. Her life facts is pretty......unacceptable in social community so it better to keep it to herself. No one knows that Erza was an emo person. Yes,the eyeliner,smudged eyeshadow,piercings and stuff. Not even Lucy who is her colleague,knows. Erza might look like someone who obsessed over an idol or singer like Ariana Grande but no,we judged her wrong. Totally wrong,she is real sneaky to keep her real self to the world.

She is into emo punk,alternative emo or any rock bands. She's not that picky when it comes to the song because all of them were good to listen to. Green Day is her childhood,she was raised by them as Billie Joe Armstrong is like her own father as soon she listened to his voice. Billie really helping her through tough times. She's also quite a fan of the Emo Trinity such as Panic!At The Disco. She really missed Panic! "golden times" and how Brendon can reach his high note? No one will ever know,he's such a gifted person with talent.

There is an emo punk band that makes her almost revealing her true self. She tried herself hiding her true self but the band was so good she couldn't resist them. Everytime they released an album,Erza will instantly download their songs on iTunes or listening it on Spotify. She didn't get bored of it as the rhythm are matched to the lead singer's voice. Ah,yes,the lead singer.

Erza's top classified secret: She had a crush on the lead singer.

She even had a daydreaming of two of them dating each other like it was fanfiction story. Those smudged eyeliners,piercings,she loved all about him. She really fell into deep abyss of him like there's no other way to get up. Till then,one unfortunate day,oh how unfortunate(hint hint)it was. The band making a decision for what Erza thought is really unwise and stupid. They decided to break up the band,for personal reasons. Can you even imagine how Erza react when she knows that?

She cried. A lot. If she was in a cartoon,she could fill the whole house with her tears. Poor little girl.

That was the only time Erza was so emo she fell apart. Lucy shocked with the changes.

●●●●●●●●●

It's been five years since the band's split. Erza is already moved on,cleaned from cutting herself for two years now,she's proud of it. She doesn't need a therapist because she knew it would be a waste of money. Lucy helped her to get one but she refused. She doesn't want it although Lucy is kind to help her to get through her dark times. I don't need a therapist,I'm fine as heck! She thought to herself. The split,breaks her heart like a million shards of mirror. Slowly,Erza respected on whatever their personal reasons are caused them to split. No one will chased them anymore. They are officially retired from their fame,music life.

It's already evening past working hour. Erza on her way back,waving hands to Millianna and called it a day. First,buy some groceries to fill in the fridge. She went inside the Walmart and pick up the trolley(or basket?) to put things she gonna buy. Erza walked from the aisle to another aisle to find things she's gonna buy,until:

"YOU WILL REMEMBER MEEE,REMEMBER MEEE FOR CENTURIEEESSS--"

Erza chuckled and almost lose herself inside Walmart to that Fall Out Boy song. She's quite a fan of that band since they are a part of Emo Trinity and fans rather called themselves,stan or trash. Erza wonder with those terms. Once she shipped Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz because in her opinion,she find that they are cute together. Really cute.

Erza went to the snack section. Her favourite ones are on the highest shelf,the strawberry flavoured snack. Dammit,she can't reach it. She tried on tip toes,hand gasping in the air,reaching for the snack. Why is she so short? Pete is shorter than her and so do Patrick. She really wish she is at least tall enough to reach the snack. Suddenly,a hand interrupt Erza's atttempt to grab the snack,took it. She sighed in dissappointment,eyes on the floor,knew that the person couldn't be kind enough to get her one. Nope,she thought wrong.

"Here,I think you liked this snack and I think you deserved it. I like this snack too you know,"said the voice,handing Erza the snack. She took it and thanking to that person. Erza turned her head up find out the person is almost disappearing from her view. It was a guy with fedora on his head. She wanted to know him if she had a chance to meet him. Erza really need to get back fast because it's getting dark outside. 

How many times Erza missed the bus? Too many. Erza is clumsy sometimes but excel in her college. She blaming herself for being clumsy. "I thought I'm the only one who missed the bus,"said the voice. Erza turned her head to the side. It was the fedora guy just now. She couldn't see his face because one,the outside is dark and two,the Walmart sign board are on their back so their face are sink in the darkness of the night. "I think we're on the same boat,"said Erza. The fedora guy chuckled and Erza slightly blushing. What's wrong with me? she thought. Today all seems too well for her,again,did God have some agenda to do on her? She wondered about that. They stand next to each other,waiting for the bus.

"You don't look like someone from New Jersey," said the guy. He was right,she wasn't. Her skin is a little bit tanned to be someone from Jersey city. "Where are you came from?"he asked. "Florida,"Erza replied,looking down. The guy whistle as he realized the distance between two states. "All the way up here?" Said the guy in questioning tone. Erza nodded and replied,"Yeah,for reasons." Erza curled her lips.

He was right after all. It's been a year,distancing herself from her friends and her hometown. Probably missed them but she won't regret with decision she make. The night in the hotel,she bought herself a flight ticket to New Jersey,away from this mess. Purpose? She want to fix herself and prove she can do it all things by her own. That's why she didn't answering or call either friends or her mother. She sick of it. She want to prove herself until she's happy about it.

"Yeah,for reasons indeed," the guy butted in Erza's thoughts,facing the bus direction. Oh,the bus. Forgot.

"Here comes our bus,"said the fedora guy. Finally I can see his face,Erza thought,feeling fluttered inside,wanting to know this guy more. Perhaps they can be friends? Or.....? No. Erza never think of that way to know someone and instantly building a relationship. No.

Wait. The guy's voice is really familiar to Erza. She's curious. Have Erza meet this guy before? She doesn't think it so,Erza have a strong memory. She remembered her clients face very well. She never met him before yet the voice of him makes Erza feel like she know him before. Did she have an accident that got herself amnesia that possibly forgot about this guy? As soon they get in the bus,Erza tell her house address and the fedora guy do the same thing. Erza give the guy way to get himself a seat and he respectfully walked across her. She stood there. Not a person who loved to stand up in the bus,but there is something makes Erza just stood there. In shock.

A slight of blue hair exposed from the fedora he's wearing before he fixed it. Could it be......? No way.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

There's no way it's him. It must be someone else,not him. Who knows in New Jersey,there's a lot of people with blue hair out there? Just like Juvia? She's a bluenette too. Please this is not him,she thought in pleading. As emo as she were,there is still a little white on her black emo heart. She already moved on. Erza really sure about this.

Erza really trying to get over from having crush to the singer as soon the band broke up. That's the purpose of shutting herself up for almost three years. At that time,she's really not on her own mind. She fell in love to the singer,rolling to the deep abyss of him. For her,it's hard. It's painful. She cut herself. Irene doesn't know this nor Lucy. She kept herself in long sleeve so everyone wouldn't know she cut herself. All these three years,tried to heal and now she is. She is already a step ahead in a good life she always wanted. Please just for God sake,not him,she thought in the most pleading inner voice ever heard.

The fedora guy turned,now,facing her.

Hell,her wishes just can't be true.

It's him.

The guy that Erza was fell for,went nuts and high over with. She would die for him if she ever met him.

It. Is. Him.

There's not mistaken or doubt about it. Those cerulean blue hair of his,hazel eyes that look just like someone put a bunch of sunflower in his eyes,the tattoo on his right side of the face,who the heck having tattoos on the face other than him? Lip ring? Bet he already removed that after the split and the piercings on both of his ears,still there. The bus went silence except the engine noise.

They stared each other. Erza still stood in front,looking down on him. The guy slightly blush. "Hey,you creep me out,"said him. Erza even worse,her face rivals her hair color. She is blushing madly. She's already a die hardcore fan of-,no,he's a crush to her. Her hands slightly shaking,bit her lips and sweating. She's facing him, she want to faint right now but she kept it professional,trying to look strong.

Inside the bus,just the two of them. Including the driver,three. She blinked her eyes,nervously. Her stomach flutter more than ever be like there was a million of butterflies,no,bats stuck inside,trying to escape. This is real,Erza. You are not seeing him in TV anymore. This is a real deal.

Erza will regret of what she will say later. She can't keep it any longer. She wants to meet him so bad.

Her mouth opened to speak,she said:

"Oh my god,you are Jellal Fernandez."

This Jellal guy's eyes widened.


	2. Chapter 2

What an irony to meet him here.  
     Is it just a coincidence or other way around?

    Erza would be a total mess if she ever found him in public somewhere in the city. All Jellal's fans especially fangirls will send her threats if they found out and become top controversy in every celebrity news blog. "I don't think such thing exists,"Erza muttered to herself.It's been years after the split. All fans' hopes and dreams of them coming back faded each year. They never,EVER gonna come back. Jellal sightings in public might reveal something? Not a chance.

    Whether it's true or not,Jellal and his bandmates almost disappeared from fame and the world. Except Gray Fullbuster,Jellal's cousin.

     Gray Fullbuster or his stage name Gray Fuster is a renowned bassist of the band and the one behind the scene. He's the one who help Jellal in writing lyrics and creating albums,even,outside of the band activity,Gray is the one who Jellal depend the most like his own brother.

      In the early days of their band,the other two members,Natsu Dragneel and Gajeel Redfox couldn't tell whether one of them is Jellal or Gray. They just can't tell the difference because the cousins barely look different from each other. Jellal's natural hair is not blue as his hair now. His natural hair are dark brown and Gray's are jet black,depends on lightings in some place,they will look like as if they were twins. A separated twins. 

    After got major response from the fans that they are look so similar fans often mistook Jellal as Gray and Gray as Jellal, the frontman soon dyed his hair ocean blue to avoid the confusion between them and the fans. Bonus for look appealing and edgy thus the piercings that Jellal had will tell the difference. Gray hated the piercings but not hating on Jellal and Gajeel piercing appearance. Gray is really hated something sharp as needles.

      There was an interview when the band are on tour to Chicago that change Jellal's appearance more. That is,when Jellal was drunk.

Interview video starts:

Gray talked about his cousin,Jellal being high.

    "That night when Jellal was nowhere to be seen,I knew he went for drinking but I never knew he drank that much,"

Jellal chuckled at Gray's statement.

    "Yeah no shit,Gray. I drank too much at that night."

Jellal turn his head to interviewer.

   "Gray told me that I went to tattoo parlor after drinking and went inside the parlor. I was drunk,really drunk that I'm asking tattooist to make a tattoo on my body. So I pointed where the body parts I want to get tattooed at-"

Gray intterupted,

   "I search him everywhere and I found him at the tattoo parlor after hours. The moment I found him there,the tattooist doing his work,on his face! I was like: What the fuck,Jellal?!"

Gray making expressions to his statement and Jellal laughed to his drunken incident. "That was sick,dude!"said Natsu,pointing Jellal's face.

    Gray continued on their story:

   "I told the tattooist to stop on whatever he was doing on my cousin's face and before I do anything to stop the work, Jellal insisted and let the tattoist continuing his work. He insisted ! I wonder how he can do that while drunk!"

The interviewer butted in:"So how do you feel the next day,Jellal?"

"I felt shit",said him,chuckling. "I can't remember the rest after what I implied to have a tattoo on my face which is the sickest thing to have it,when I look at the mirror,I thought Natsu and Gray had done on me again with their permanent markers or something and after I washed 'this' so many times,I started to freak out," he giggled more,gesturing on his words and the interviewer just spread grinning on her face.

   "Jellal freaked out and he said,'the freak this tattoo on my face??'  
    'You're drunk as heck last night,Jellal! I tried to stop you but you insisted to have it!'"said Gray,mimicking on their previous conversation. "After he realised on what he had done that night, he pretty much sulking the rest in the morning,"

    All of them except Gajeel laughing in the interview.

Interview video ends.

     After the drunken incident,many fans  accepting his "new" appearance. The tattoo on his face will forever remark his signature. Gray couldn't agreed more.

       After the split,Gray got the hit real hard as he is the co-founder of the band besides Jellal. He seems to lose all hope in making music and all. He loved his band like it was his life depend on it. Few months after,he got on his feet and started new career as a freelance bassist and the songwriter,the ones that he always do with Jellal when they was in the band.

     Erza was curious as other fans do. Where is Jellal Fernandez after the split? For sure Natsu and Gajeel already have their job after the split. But Jellal? Where he had been? He disappeared like wind after the announcement. Disappeared just like that,from the world and his celebrity friends.

      Until Erza met him in the bus,that is. Or is it? She is unsure about that. She really hope it was a dream. That was insane to meet him in the public. Most important fact,Jellal rarely going outside.

       Erza's eyes flicked open and get herself up from the couch in sitting position. It was a dream after all,Erza thought as what she saw right now is not seem like so-called dream. Who knows a fangirl like her could dream such fantasy? Screw her imagination for that.

        She then went upstairs to get her clothes change. Before she could do that,Erza felt the most horrible thing that her body could give. She felt sick today. I have to ask a day off,thoughts to herself. Hope her manager could give her at least a day. So she sent the text.

     "Thank God,"Erza said to herself.Her manager give her day off.

       About yesterday's event,about Lucy,Erza think it is suitable to give an apology instead. She didn't meant to ditch Lucy because Lucy is the closest she ever had. Erza tapped at Lucy's contact and pressed on green phone symbol. Hope Lucy won't pissed about her.

     "Hello?"Lucy's voice heard as she answered Erza's call.

"Look Lucy,I'm sorry for yesterday. I'm just didn't meant it. I'm---" Erza got interrupted by Lucy.

     "It's okay,Erza. I already know about you and your mom."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah,your mom is really being a big jerk here. She pretend that you don't even exist at all the day you went disappeared."

Erza bit her lip. I knew it.

"Your apology accepted. Just tell me where you are."

"Uhm,about that,I can't,"Erza replied. Eventhough she apologize for what she had done yesterday,she can't tell where she was,which is now.....Newark,New Jersey.

There was a pause in their conversation.

Give her a hint wouldn't hurt right?

"Uhhh,Lucy,I'm somewhere at North,"

"What?! That's far!"

"Yeah."

"Enough for me to know where you are...I will find you wherever you are at the North,"said Lucy with evil giggle. Erza chuckled on her words.

"Alright. Find me then."

"Hahahaha...I have to hang up the call. I have things to get done. See you if I ever got the chance!"

"Yeah,yeah." And the call ended. Glad Lucy accepted her apology and surely Lucy will find her soon. She won't hide anyway. Why would she hide from her bestfriend?

"That feels better,"said Erza,letting out sigh.

    Erza feel absolute crap for the rest in the morning. She felt something  welling up in her stomach as she want to throw up but she didn't. She really is sick and just want to wrapped herself up with blanket and turn into a burrito if she want. After she changed her clothes,she went downstairs to the kitchen. Erza found packs of groceries and she wondered how possibly she have all of those. Then she remembered.

     She puts all of her groceries in order. All the can foods,cereals are in the wardrobe meanwhile drinks are in the fridge. Everything is alright, she thought it or so.

     Done with the groceries in the kitchen,she went to the front counter. Her house is kinda big for her own and basically the counter are separated from the kitchen or she had double kitchen. The stairs she used to get down are at the back because the "secret passage" by previous owner before Erza.

     She couldn't surprised more on what she saw on the counter. A mug of coffee and a plate with pair of toast and both of them are still hot as they just made in a minute or two ago. "Since when I made this to myself?"she said to herself. Whatever or whoever did this, Erza didn't care at the moment. She is hungry and instantly she grabbed the toast and eat it with the mug in hand.

    After eating or breakfast as we called,Erza saw a piece of folded paper beside the plate. She took it and opened the folded paper.

       "Dear miss,

You passed out in the bus right after you pronounced my full name. Yes,that's me....the one you said in the bus. When you're out,me and the bus driver help carrying you and your grocery stuff. The bus driver said that it's better for me to stay with you in case you need anything. So I stayed till this morning. Oh! I already prepared you toasts and coffee for your breakfast if you ever wake up in the morning.

Sorry for making  you passed out in the bus last night.  
               
                                                 Sincerely,  
                                          J. Fernandez "

Oh. My. God. It wasn't a dream. It was real.....

     She is paranoid right now. That couldn't be real. Who knows neigbour's son pranking her or neigbour being nice to her making toast and stuff. But how could possibly her neigbour with the name Jellal? The name itself is weird enough for someone in New Jersey to have. Jellal is originally from Idaho and wondered what possibly could he be in the east coast region? Maybe he followed his cousin,Gray? Gray is from New Jersey himself. So that maybe would be the reason he's here.

     She become more anxious. Possibly the bus driver made this to her and pretend to be Jellal or---?

DING DONG!

     The doorbell interrupted her anxious thoughts in every possibility whoever made Erza her breakfast. Screw that.

      Why is the house is so big? Erza thought to herself. The distance between the main door and the kitchen is quite far she had to jogged to through rooms in ground level and living room.

        She wondered who is at the door. The neigbour perhaps. She stopped by a foot from the door. Here goes her anxiety...she wondered if that is not her neighbour? Maybe a thief? Thugs? Or------?

    Whoever that was,I have to check it out.

      Erza grabbed the doorknob and turned it to the other side. The door creaked open. Stood a silhouette, enough to cover Erza from the sunlight. Her eyes widened. Shocked.

   "Hi I'm Gray Fullbuster or you might know me as Gray Fuster....as you know,my cousin give this house address just to know about you as he back home late this morning.....  
     Hey,you alright?"

                  No way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

[24 hours before]

   "What a great day to be alive!" said he to himself. Going outside the house he lived,breath in and out,enjoy the environment he see. Jellal had a really good mood in the Monday morning while everyone just sulking and be blues all day long.

"You shouldn't said that,you know," said Gray,popped out of nowhere.

"Oh stop ruining the mood,brother," said Jellal,pouting. "I'm your cousin,not your brother,Gee,"replied Gray,leaning against the sliding door. Jellal continue pouting. He was a giant baby indeed.

    "Alright,do whatever you want. You have new life after all. But! I'm keeping my eye on you,"said Gray,walking towards the sofa and grabbing his backpack and his bass guitar along on his back. He turned to Jellal,"Anyway,I already prepared you a breakfast,giant baby. I have to go helping Lyon with his solo project."

   "Helping him again? I thought he said that he didn't need you after his debut came out?"

    "Not as what he said in the media,"replied Gray,raising both of his eyebrows. "See you later!"

   "Bye!" Jellal yelled,waving hands to Gray as his cousin walked towards the door and disappeared from his sight.

■■■■■■■■■■■■

      Gerard Raphael Fernandez or his stage name Jellal Fernandez, originally from Idaho,moving to Jersey Shore,New Jersey due to his parents' work. Gray is his mother side's cousin,birth and raised there. The age gap are just a year apart and Gray is more mature than the older one. Jellal will be always the idiot among the cousins he have because he found it funny and ways to entertain all his younger cousins. After they met each other for the first time in Christmas,they become more like brothers instead any typical cousin that any normal family outside could have.

They depend on each other.

   2 years after his family moved to New Jersey,things are just falling apart. When Jellal was 17,his parents decided to divorce after what was he heard from their parents' last night argument that his mom accusing his father having a keeper. Laura Fernandez just couldn't believed at her husband for one second as too much evidence that he was cheated on her. A month later,they officially divorced. Poor this teenage boy,wrong place at the wrong time.

    The custody of Jellal are on his father. He can't meet his cousin ever again,makes him sad even more after the divorce. Jellal's father become more sober,can't moving on from the divorce. The truth is,he was with a female client and apparently she had a crush on him and decided to break them. Jellal heard about it and pissed about the client. He can't do anything but pissed. Faust Fernandez drank a lot of liquor and the result? Abusing his only son whenever he come back from school for no reason. He became abusive and not himself anymore.

    Everyday,Jellal had through that shitty ass routine. Most teachers in his school worried about him self-harm as they found bruises and cuts on his body. Jellal denied that and instead,he told them that he's fine. He kept his patience as he believing in God,hoping his father would change someday. Jellal was a Catholic boy back in his previous home state.

Life can't give him any better life paths.

     On a very,very unfortunate,disturbing and super awful day.....he was happy that he scored in his Biology quiz at school,all happy thoughts drained out after what he saw after he got back. His eyes widen,jaw dropping in horror as he found the one who raised him since baby,found hanged on the ceiling in the living room. What a sight,to be honest.

He dropped on his knees. Screaming.

Jellal screaming and crying uncontrollably.

    More unheard screaming from inside,shouting for pleading and helping. Crying in agony,more tears came out,neighbours heard the shout. The sympathy to a crying teenage boy who just lost a parent is not enough. Not enough. Nothing that this young man could do but watching his old man laying motionless on the stretcher covering with white sheets.

    Nothing that can change the event that already happened.

He knew that this day could come but not this soon.

What a sorrow.

After his father's funeral,the custody replaced by his mom and her new husband. It's just the same, he thought. He didn't feel the love he needed from his new father. That upsets him even more. He was angry and sad about himself. Why he even exist on this world if his parents just thinking about themselves but not their son. He wrote something to let it out and it's all about his anger towards himself. No one could understand. Not even Gray.

Life is just not fair.

     He ran away from his mother's house the night he turned 18. He didn't feel the love in the household and instead overwhelming hatred from his step dad. He can't take it anymore. He packed all the things,his money and stuff he needed and ran. He ran away as far as he could. He even put a farewell note to his dearest mother.

   Dear Mom,

    I love you and all you did to me. You raised me,feed me and I very grateful for that. Thank you for the things you have done. I really appreciate. I already turned 18, mom and I think it's time I do things all by myself and didn't want your help anymore. I could do this,mom. Take care with your husband,he loves you to the bottom of his heart and I can see it.

    Oh! Don't even try to find me,mom. I don't want to. I already grown up. I don't blame you for my decision. I did this,to myself. It is time,Mom. I love you mom and I know you love me but just, I don't love you like I did yesterday.

Thank you for everything.

                                                 Sincerely,  
                                                Gerard . F

     Tears welling up on his eyes as he wrote the letter. He abandoned everything he had and moved on. He decided this. He facing his adult life by his own hands.

    Jellal found himself at the town nearby,Belleville. Using his money he kept from elementary school for bus ticket.

     Lucky him, Gray is in Belleville for study. Jellal was about to apply for the college in the town when they meet each other again. He tried to hide,ashamed in front of his so-called "brother-cousin". He told everything happened to Gray because Gray didn't heard Jellal's news after the divorce. He missed his cousin. Glad he can keep it as a secret although the story is really hit the rock bottom. Jellal sighed in relief. He trusted his cousin.

      Lots of things these boys have in common. The most obvious is,they loved music especially punk rock. Green Day are their inspiration. The boys loved to sing, strumming their fingers with their guitars and followed the melody. Gray loves to played bass, Jellal played guitar and soon came with other two of Gray's colleague,Natsu and Gajeel. Natsu played electric guitar and Gajeel plays drum set. Both of them are incredible with their instuments.

     Most of their time after school and part-time work are playing their music instrument and singing. Sometimes covering some songs from famous bands. As the time went by, Jellal and Gray came up with an idea that could change four of the boys forever, creating a band.

    "I think it is time for us to create a band since we wrote some songs for ourselves and we think we give it a try. To show it to the world."

        At first,they didn't hit that much because they're still new and yet to perform on big stage. They just perform in a garage. Till then, Vampires Will Never Hurt You released as their mark on their first album. They didn't expect that the song would hit the song chart in the whole country. More interviewers came and interview them. Jellal found a bit happiness there. He found something that makes him happy.

   Since then,they worked so hard and reach to the top.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■

[Back to present]

"Oh my God,you're Jellal Fernandez..."

     The sooth,questioning female voice echoed inside his head like if he was in a cave somewhere. He shouting at the cave and reflect with different response. He wondered why the voice stucked in his head. Even the image.. He walked on his way back home through the streets in the city. He lived in an apartment somewhere near the suburb. He didn't care that he walk. He have much to think while walking.

   *ping!*

       Message from Gray.

Ray-ray: Dude where have you been all night long? I'm worried sick! I didn't see you at house after I've got back from studio.

Ray-ray: Answer me,Gee!

     Jellal stopped somewhere to reply Gray's messages.

Jelly-beano: I've been helping someone..

Ray-ray is typing....

Ray-ray: helping who?

Jelly-beano: Helping a young woman. Not really that kind of helping actually. She fainted.

Ray-ray: then what else?

Jelly-beano: So me and the bus driver carried her all the way inside her house. The driver said,it is best for me to stick with the woman in case she need anything. So I stayed till morning..

Ray-ray:.......

Ray-ray is typing.....

Ray-ray: where did she lived?

Jelly-beano: Why?

Ray-ray: nothing. Just want 2 know.

       He trusted his cousin. Gray wouldn't do anything harm to the woman. Jellal have really strong memory so he sent the address. Gray didn't replied. Wonder what would it be....

       He continued walking and stopped at the coffee shop. He need some coffee anyway. One thing he didn't expect last night.

He didn't expect anyone would remember him or maybe the band. It's been so long. Whoever thought that he found a fan on the street and still remember him?

       It's been two days......


	4. Chapter 4

It's been two days....

Gray thought.

Working with Lyon is absolute pain in the ass. This temporary, Vogue-fashionista pop singer is much of "perfection" in choosing tune. Gray couldn't help it. All of time of his career is all about punk rock and that is his significant style. Maybe play bass for a pop singer is a new thing to learn. He thought several hours would be go easy unlike the last time Lyon record his debut album.

Luckily,the bass tempo isn't much needed in the song. It's just today and that's all. Finally,I could take proper break, he thought. He need to take care of his cousin,that's why. Technically,half-break,half babysitting older cousin. He sighed. Gray's not that rude,just,a fully grown up man we talking about here who have 4 years left to end his 20s age.

The one who supposed to have proper job instead of sitting at home,doing nothing. Of course Jellal has a lot of money than Gray has,at least the giant-blue-hair-baby have something to work on. He walked out from studio after recording session. He later grabbed his car key,unlock the car door and bring the car to life. He hold the steering wheel firmly and set his destination inside his mind. His house. Press the pedal and here he goes. 

As soon as he arrived,he found out that Jellal wasn't there as he expect to be. Gray searched around the house and even check in Jellal's room if he is sleeping. Well,nothing. That's not good. At all. He wandered around,back and forth before he realise there's a note on a desk in the living room. 

"We run out of food in the fridge. I'll go and grab some. 

J. Fernandez"

"Hope he doesn't doing something stupid," Gray mumbled to himself. He really is protective over his cousin. He can't let Jellal outside just like that. Idea suddenly came into his mind. A scenario where no one knows Jellal him anymore after the break-up. Hope that will work.  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
Jellal is still outside. He's still out there. Not coming back. Gray is like a mother hen,worried about their children. He's worried as heck. Where Jellal could be? The note told him that Jellal went outside just to buy some groceries but why it took so long till next morning? He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and texted Jellal and his whereabouts. The last time Jellal went outside when none of the band members including the manager knew where he was,after their concert. Jellal went outside to the bar, drink till there is no tomorrow and the next day? He had a major hungover. Jellal could possibly be like that. Again. 

*ping!*

A ringtone from his phone. A message from Jellal. He opened the message.

Gray's stomach just dropped. His theory just ripped out like hand in an assignment and the lecturer ripped it for desire. Someone still acknowledge Jellal after all this years. This must be a hardcore fan. Way too hardcore. Or maybe new? Who knows.

Gray asked Jellal if he have the address. Gray need to know. He wants to meet this fan, a really opposite of what they are doing past few years.

[Present time]

No way.

Erza thought. Gaping his mouth wide.

One of the band members,Gray,stood outside of her house. It's like dream becoming reality. It is a reality. It must be about his cousin. 

"Hey miss,are you okay?"

"Y-yes,I-I'm fine,"replied Erza,stuttered. She really have to cross out from the bucket list. Meeting at least two band members is all worthy a lifetime. Erza at first,also have a crush on Gray but not as strong as her crush on Jellal.

"Do you mind if we go for a drink?"

"Of course."she nodded,aggresively.

"The rising-star punk rock band, Altairis had announced their split yesterday night on twitter by co-founder of the band and also a bassist,Gray Fullbuster.

It's not we gone mad,crazy nor depressed. We moved way too fast and this is overwhelming for all of us in the band to keep it on and stable. We might separate apart, our own ways but we still continue our own journey as time goes on. Thank you so much for being with us. Altairis.

It's really fan-upsetting,clueless message from the band and the fans are confused with their answer. Some are open with their decision and some aren't. Is it somehow related to the band rumour? Soon we will find out."

Jellal shook his head. Past is past. He can't take back the past unless there are some sort of magic that could go back to past time and change everything. That would be awesome. 

Sitting beside the shop's window,a hop cup of coffee between his hands,his groceries underneath the table. A slice of pie on the table although the price for a slice is quite expensive. At least it's better than there. He's not complaining as long there is food in front of him. Plus,he's not spending a lof of money before so he suppose to enjoy the moment. He look outside, looking through city's building with tiny bit ray of sunshine . He took a sip and sighed. The fangirl really took his attention. He can't find the reason.

After bought two cups of coffee,Gray and Erza went to the park nearby and take a walk there. This would be a controversy. Erza begin with her questions. Yes, "s" means there's a lot of it. 

"So how's your tour?"

"It went well as before. Nothing much of a difference."

"I see. What's your reaction after Warped Tour already ended few months ago?"

"It's quite sad actually. We can't do performance for the fans and meet with other band anymore unless it was a gig. But I think it is time for it to end its era because music grew to be more 'calming and less poetic.'"

"Oh-"

"But! That doesn't stop us from doing performance on stage live with fans,"added Gray with smile. 

Here goes silence.

"It's about my encounter with Jellal,isn't it?"said Erza.

Gray nodded with "uh-huh" tone.

Erza bit her lips.

"We accidentally met in Walmart,he helped me took a pack of chips yesterday. Then,we hopped inside the bus,to go back home,"Erza keep on talking while they are on the walk.

"Then?"

"I never knew the person was him since he wear fedora on his head. I mean--, anyone could be him. Blue hair,piercings--"

"But not one as bold as him to have tattoo that is nearly to an eye."added Gray more.

None of the fans can took his mind and heart just like that......

Both of them chuckled.

"And that's all I could remember."

"You fainted in the bus according to Jellal."

"Y-yeah,I didn't meant to burden him."said Erza,slightly blush.

"No,it's okay,it's really common for us to have fans fainted after our concert especially autograph session."

Heard from that,Erza's eyes glittered. She wanted to know more about their journey as a band from time to time. She never go to their concert before. That's a bummer. 

Another silence.

Gray broke the silence,"You seem fancy about Jellal."

"H-huh?" Erza blushed. As if Gray just read her mind. She did. She did fancy him. More than fancy,to be honest.

She fell into it.

Gray raised an eyebrow. They stopped on their tracks and sit onto one of the bench that is near to the lake. They sip the coffee before it turns cold.

"It's better taste when coffee is still hot,otherwise,once it cold,it shows its bitterness," Erza blurted out of nowhere. Gray blinked on her words. Is she a philosophist or something?

"So spill your--"

"Coffee. Not tea. Not in our situation,"Erza interrupted. Gray is serious about her encounter with Jellal. She regretted it soon after. "Yes,I do fancy Jellal,"Erza said,her cheeks turned pink. That's adorable.

"But it's more than fancy. I fell in love with him. I fell into it. I fell into his abyss where I have 0.000001% to get myself up and it's hopeless to get out." Erza averted her eyes on Gray to anywhere else. Gray gets it. "His voice is very soothing,I can't help it,I used your band's song as my lullaby.No! Don't get me wrong! I'm not that creep," she nervously laughed,brushing her left arm with her right arm,up and down.

"Although I'm already on my feet,but after the encounter,I fell again. It's hard. It's very heart-aching. I can't tell how much butterflies wants to escape from my stomach."  
Her heart beats fast as she going on with her confession.

Not after the beautiful milk tea orbs of her....

Erza really wish Jellal feel the same way she did to him.

Gray realised something."Wait,you said that you already move on.. What happened?"

Erza covered her mouth. She gulped. She didn't meant to blurt it out. All out.

"It's okay,spill it."

"The song before you guys,you know.....the split."

Gray winced at her statement as it leaving a very painful mark on him. Erza turned her face down to earth.

"This Is How I Disappear"

Erza closed her eyes. She can heard the song inside her head. It's automatically playing as soon Gray pronounced it. She can hear Jellal's voice singing the song and her heart ached. 

"The song is very uplifting with sense of suicidal because emo community such a suicidal community,the song is preventing them to have thoughts of and commit suicide,"Erza stated her summary to the song and Gray just nodded.

"I know,it's uplifting very the least. Do you think the same way I think about the song?"

"Which is has other meaning other than I concluded just now?"

"Bingo."

He actually knew what his older cousin wrote about the song. That's what they argued about. They never argued before. They always team up to write a song but this time,it's different. Jellal wrote the song without Gray knowing. Gray is pissed and they have a fight. Later on when they find out it's useless to fight over,they make a truce and Gray change the song so the song have the slight of hope to keep on living. Not just being suicidal.

"Anyway....."

Her gaze is beauty....

"The name's Erza."Erza smiled,weakly.

"Anyway,Erza..... what I'm gonna say is,you really sounds deeply in love,that's the first. The second is,if you're really someone who will take care of Jellal in the futu--,hey,stop blushing!"Gray laughed with Erza's reactions on his statement. "If you are really,really fell in love and will do anything for his sake,I suggest you one thing. Stay away,"Gray said,sternly.

Erza's heart sank. Her skin turn pale. Stay away? Possibly could. They barely know each other. But stay away? What makes Gray said things like that about his cousin? She try to use scenario theory this time.

"What if I don't?"Erza asked. Gray sighed.

"I guess I can't stop you..."

"Since I'm older than you a year,"said Erza,proudly."How old are you?"Gray asked. "26."

"Not much of a difference. But! You can get to know him,only on a friend level. I can't trust anyone with Jellal this far. Don't tell me I didn't warn you to stay away,"Gray said,serious on his face.

"Why?"

"He's not ready."

"What do you mean 'he's not ready?'"

"He really isn't ready for anything for now,whether this world nor a relationship,"said Gray. He is really serious as Erza will facing a big problem that probably unsolved. Gray loved his cousin more than any of his family. Jellal is like a big brother of his own.

Erza is confused at this moment. Jellal is not ready?

It's time to tell Erza the truth behind the curtains. Bet it won't hurt her,right?

Or so that's how Gray thought.

"Do you know why Jellal just disappeared after the split? Without news or anything?"

Erza shook her head,telling him no.

"Jellal got himself into a mental institution after the split. He just got out two days ago."

She's cute.....

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second Jerza book. The first one sucked, I constantly discontinued and deleted it.
> 
>    Actually this book is meant to be an one-shot book but I found out it's very interesting to write on so this turn into chapters.
> 
>     All I could say is, this book is very much realistic and modern au. It's set up in real world in present time.
> 
>   Probably grammatical error. Forgive me. Some of the places might not be real to fit in the story and maybe absurd and so on.
> 
> P.s: this is only a repost


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